Why can I not get on my mat these days?

It isn’t just inertia. It isn’t just the season and the urge to hibernate. It’s something deeper and less graspable in my consciousness. It’s something about where my practice came from, way back, long before it was a practice ... about the need to flee my mother’s house and how I have been running, running all these years, and how lately I have gradually slowed down and risked looking over my shoulder. But my practice grows out of many roots. Only some of them are fed by fear and flight.